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Why change your life for the better is hard&how to start?

Sep 9, 2021 | Goals&Dreams

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You’re looking for a formula to start changing your life for the better, but that seems really hard to implement because today’s reality is far removed from the reality you want. 3 easy steps to start changing your life for the better.


It’s very easy to get caught up in a regular routine and just automatically do the things we’ve been doing day in and day out for years and years. As easy as it is to do what we typically do, it’s even harder to change it. It’s a habit, and changing your existing habits requires, it seems, inhuman efforts to “uproot” them and “sow” new habits in their place. So I answer this question: why is it so hard to change your life in the direction you want? This is still often referred to as the comfort zone, although from another perspective it is not as comfortable as it may seem. So, it’s hard for us to steer our lives in another direction for the better because we sit in our comfort zones, which may not be as comfortable as we imagine. This might sound confusing, but it is what it is.


Why is it easier to grouch and engage in disliked activities instead of changing them?


God, how easy it is to grouch. You try it once, and you can’t seem to stop! Sheila – a friend who calls to complain about how she doesn’t like her job and how she would like to no longer have to do it ( Sheila is fictional. She embodies a certain part of people in a general sense). Some of the complaints go in one ear and out the other, and the rest of them occasionally make you a bit angry. But one day you realize that you have become this Sheila who finds it so difficult to change the things she wants to change in her life and talks so easily about how she is unhappy with the reality she’s living in. Yes – grouching is contagious and we may not even realize that we ourselves have become this Sheila. I was no exception – I had taken the part of Sheila at some point in my life, but it didn’t lead me in the direction I wanted, so I gave it up.


New things in life bring changes, and taming them is not so easy. For a very large proportion of people, change conjures fear that stems from the uncertainty of how things will turn out, and it is definitely much easier to be where you already feel, at least a little safe. Although that security is very conditional, because you never know when your comfortable workplace will be given to another. Because by doing the same things we get the same result which does not satisfy us, we have to find the courage to change it. The best thing for me – small steps. They work great and are not that cardinal, so you can gradually tame a new reality without experiencing a huge shock and without pushing yourself to choose between black and white. I highly recommend reading James Clear’s book “Atomic Habits”, which tells in great detail how small changes produce significant results. I’m still continuously learning from it how concentrating on less can do more.


I want to steer my life in another direction. Where do I start?


So, let’s imagine that Sheila, who is currently in the position of sales manager, finally decides to stop complaining and change her life. Sounds good? Over lunch with her coworkers, she loudly expresses a desire to write a book, as it turns out she has long dreamed of it. Probably for the vast majority, this would seem like an unrealistic dream with nothing to do with her current reality. And yes – they are partially right. It is a vision that does not correspond in any way to her current reality, but it is unachievable only if she suffocates this vision as soon as she hears how unattainable it might be, and does not take a single step to bring it closer to reality. What does Sheila need most at that moment? She needs to get started! And how does she need to start? By taking small steps.


3 steps to change your life for the better


1. Start with small steps


If your vision is far removed from the current reality, it takes time to change it, so it is wise to give yourself time and start with small steps. By taking a small step approach, you will avoid or minimize the possibility of great self disappointment. After all, if you’ve never written or have written, but a very, very long time ago, it’s normal not to become a writer overnight. The same rule applies in other areas. From a sales manager to a writer, this is just an example to allow me to convey the cardinal difference. True, in the small-step method, there is one slippery slope: you won’t see a quick tangible result, which can lead to a drop in motivation, but to manage this, set up a routine and try to prioritize the process as much as possible.


2. Look for outside sources of inspiration


The most reliable source of inspiration for me are people, but it’s often hard to find my inspirers in the immediate environment. I suggest looking at it more broadly, because the world is full of different personalities, and because we live in an age of technology, it is quite easy to discover our potential inspirers, even in the farthest corners. Read, listen and let their experiences inspire you. I share some links to videos that inspire me:



One of the Greatest Speeches Ever by Oprah Winfrey (Law Of Attraction)

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Eye Opening Speech – Best MOTIVATION Ever 2019

Discover who inspires you. Become fans and be rewarded with constant inspiration so that when you run out of faith in yourself or your vision, you can quickly rehabilitate and move on.


3. Educate yourself

Diving into a new field without a suitcase of knowledge is not a smart decision and it does not lead to the successful implementation of a new vision. If you want to get where you haven’t been you need to learn from those who are already where you want to be. My endless source of knowledge is youtube – there’s so much great information out there and it’s available for free, so I can’t find a reason not to recommend it.  Books – they contain so many wise thoughts and they do not require extremely large investments. At arm’s reach. And many of them can be found in audio format, which is especially convenient for those without time. (I use the Audible app to listen to audio books). Courses – you can start with uncomplicated ones that won’t break the bank.


It is difficult to steer our lives in another desired direction, because it brings a lot of uncertainty. We tend to stay where it is comfortable, because it is safer and thus we do not have to take risks unlike when getting into new fields. But still, if our current life is not satisfactory, we must understand that by doing the same things – we get the same result, and no matter how much we complain, nothing will change. To change that, we have to do things we haven’t done yet, and to get started we don’t necessarily have to change everything radically, at times simple small steps are enough. After all, sometimes it’s enough to start!


So, is it difficult or easy for you to steer your life in the desired direction?